You know, I’ve been helping men improve their love lives for years now and I’ve probably read dozens of articles on what women find attractive in men. I’ve even written a few of them.
But the funny thing is that I rarely come across articles that touch on what men find attractive in a woman. Is the modern dating game so lopsided that it’s enough for a woman to just ‘show up’? Or do we men stumble merely at the sight of a nice head of hair or a shapely body?
I won’t deny the fact that this is true for a lot of men out there, but there’s a little more needed to really attract a man who isn’t impressed with mere “good looks”? Now I can’t speak for the entire population here, but here are twelve things that I, personally, find incredibly attractive in a woman.
1. She has a sense of humor
I’ll be honest, one of the most important things in any relationship that I share with another person, romantic or otherwise, is the ability to have a great time and have a good laugh.
So while I never hold any significant other to a comic standard of say, Ellen Degeneres, I do love a woman who can live life one day at a time, take a joke and crack a few of her own.
Example: I love when we can laugh at the little things, like her making fun of my bad dance moves at a wedding, and then joining in to make it even worse. It makes everything more fun and reminds me not to take life too seriously.
2. She’s kind
Now this might sound like a bit of a cliché, but true kindness really is rare these days.
Sure you get people who are nice to those who hold some sort of value to them, but how many people do you meet every day that would go and talk to the lone stranger crying in the subway?
You see, I don’t want to be with a person that’s just nice to me, my friends and my family. I want a person who can brighten up my day by brightening up the lives of everyone she comes in contact with.
Example: Once, when we were walking through a park, she stopped to help a lost child find their parents, even though we were in a hurry. That act of kindness showed me her heart was always in the right place, no matter the situation.
3. She gets along with my friends
A friend once told me that there’s an old Chinese saying that a man who has a wife who gets along with his friends will have a long and pleasant life.
Well, I have a feeling that my friend might be lying about there being an actual saying, but I have to say that it really is a beautiful thing to be with a woman who can get along with your buddies and just be “one of the guys” when she wants to.
Example: At one of our barbecues, she casually joined in on a game of cornhole with my friends, laughing and joking around like she’d known them for years. It felt like she belonged, and it made the day that much more enjoyable.
4. She’s passionate about things
This might sound like a tall ask to some, but I’m a person who needs to be inspired constantly to be happy. And to me there’s no feeling in this world as attractive as being inspired by a woman who’s passionate about her pursuits in life.
You could be a world class pianist or you could be doctor, the minute I see your eyes light up while talking about what you want to achieve in life, I guarantee you I’ll be falling hard and fast.
Example: I once watched her give a presentation at work about a project she had been working on for months. The excitement in her voice and the way she explained every detail made me admire her even more. Her passion was contagious.
5. She’s confident
I don’t know about you, but I like being around people who are happy to be themselves.
You see, it’s not just women who respond powerfully to a confident partner. I love being with a woman who stands up for herself and what she believes in; as long as it’s not an opinion against my sports team or favorite band. Ha!
Just kidding – I would never date a girl who didn’t love Iron Maiden.
Example: I once saw her walk into a room full of strangers at a party, and without hesitation, she started up a conversation with anyone around. It wasn’t arrogance, but just an ease of being herself that made everyone feel welcome.
6. She’s decisive
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t know what they want and can’t take responsibility for their own decisions. At the end of the day I’m willing to battle through a few arguments on where we should have dinner or which movie we should watch, as long as I know that I’m with a person who’s strong enough to be decisive.
Example: On a trip to a new city, we had to decide between exploring the famous landmarks or checking out hidden gems in the area. Without hesitation, she picked the hidden gems, and it ended up being the best part of our trip. I admire that confidence in her choices.
7. She has her own sense of style
So here’s the thing; we men are very much visual creatures. It’s just how we’re evolutionarily programmed. And something that I absolutely love in a woman is a unique sense of style.
Example: One day she wore this vintage jacket she found at a flea market, paired with simple jeans and boots. It wasn’t over the top, but it was effortlessly chic. Her unique style always draws compliments, and I’m proud to walk by her side.
8. She’s supportive
A partner who supports me, especially when times are tough, is someone I truly appreciate.
Example: When I decided to switch careers, she was the first person to encourage me. She reminded me of my strengths and kept me grounded when doubt crept in. That kind of support made all the difference in my journey.
9. She’s adventurous
Life is too short to be stuck in a routine, and I love a woman who’s open to exploring the unknown.
Example: On a spontaneous weekend trip, she suggested we hike a trail neither of us had ever tried. We got lost, laughed, and ended up discovering an amazing waterfall we would have never found if we hadn’t embraced the adventure.
10. She’s empathetic
Understanding and connecting with others on an emotional level is key.
Example: I remember a time when a friend was going through a tough breakup. She sat with them for hours, listening to their pain and offering kind words. That empathy allowed my friend to heal, and it showed me how deeply she cares about those around her.
11. She’s independent
While being in a relationship is wonderful, I also admire a woman who can stand on her own two feet.
Example: She loves working on her personal projects outside of our relationship. Whether it’s training for a marathon or starting a side business, her drive to achieve on her own makes me admire her even more.
12. She’s open-minded
I love being with someone who is open to new ideas, different cultures, and the diversity of the world around us.
Example: During a trip to a different country, she tried foods she’d never heard of before and embraced every new experience with an open heart. Her willingness to be open to the world makes our life together that much more exciting and fulfilling.
I’ll admit that I tend to gravitate towards certain stereotypes – bohemian Goth with a fair share of body ink, in case you’re wondering – but I fall in love whenever I see a woman who has a sense of style that I don’t get to see on every street corner.
