You’ve been in a relationship for a while now and find that it’s time to formally bond in the institution of marriage, but your boyfriend is yet to pop the question or even show signs of wanting to get married.
This is not a very uncommon scenario and it might be a disconcerting to play the waiting game when you really just want to get married as soon as possible.
If you are wondering whether it’s alright to be the first one to propose marriage, then rest assured that in many relationships it’s the woman who initiates the talk of getting married.
There are many guys who would be slightly apprehensive about marriage as it involves a lot of practical aspects and planning (both financially and socially), so they would bide their time even if they are totally committed to the relationship.
So you might have to initiate discussion along these lines so that he starts thinking about it seriously.
6 pointers to initiate the marriage talk with your boyfriend
Here are a few tips on how to ask your boyfriend to marry you, or rather how to initiate the talk of marriage.
1.) Let Him Know that You Want to Get Married
If your boyfriend does not give you a specific answer, go ahead and tell him that you are looking to get married and settle down as soon as possible.
He might start thinking about marriage seriously when he sees that his girlfriend has made up her mind about it.
If he finds that you are as uncertain as he is about marriage, he will not mind delaying it further.
2.) Be Playful When You Vouch the Question
Keep a playful attitude when you ask him about marriage, even if you are a little edgy or nervous about what his reaction will be.
The last thing you want to do is spook the guy out. So just slip in the question as playfully as you can.
You can say something like “So Mr. Boyfriend, when are planning to marry me?” or “When do I get to call you my hubby?”
3.) Don’t Come Across as Being Needy
If you display any form of dependence or neediness, he will find it repulsive subconsciously.
It’s true for guys and girls that the attraction factor reduces when they find their partner being overly dependent or needy.
That’s why it’s all the more important to play it as cool as possible.
4.) Be Willing to Talk About the Practical Aspects
Marriage is a totally different ball game and it takes the relationship into a different level altogether.
There are several practical aspects to be considered which you may not have thought about before.
There are social issues like meeting with the families and relatives and then there are financial issues like getting a house and other necessities. May be your boyfriend is apprehensive about one or many of these issues.
It helps to talk out the practical aspects involved in marriage and help him feel comfortable about it.
5.) Don’t Pressurize Him Directly
There is absolutely no point in pressurizing him about marriage. The fact remains that he is either willing to get married or he is not, that’s totally his decision.
If you put any emotional pressure on him it will backfire later when he will blame you for all the marital problems.
Be sure to let him know that your parents and relatives are looking forward to see you married as soon as possible, this puts some indirect pressure rather than direct one.
6.) Attend Other People’s Marriages With Him
Make it a point to attend other people’s marriages as a couple. Once you are back, discus with him how magical the wedding was.
This will put him in a similar frame of mind on a subconscious level and even evoke a desire in his heart to get married himself.
To sum it up..
In conclusion, as a girl when you ask your boyfriend about marriage it’s all about being classy and cool.
You don’t want the guy to feel you are “hooked” and that he can take you for granted, this is a sure way to give your control away completely. A healthy relationship is the one where both partners share an equal control without being overly dependent on the other.
Neediness or dependence, on the part of the guy or the girl, can easily reduce attraction.