Many women believe that falling in love cannot be controlled. The reality however is that the idea that love cannot be controlled is a product of conditioning. We have been accustomed to the notion that people fall in love by “fate” or “destiny.” As romantic as this belief may seem however, it is completely WRONG.
The reality is that when you have a firm grasp of psychology, you come to see that love can, indeed, be controlled – if you understand how the mind works.
And here’s why…
Love is a psychological emotion. It is on the same level as:
- Stress
- Anger
- Fear
- Anxiety
- And sadness etc.
And just like every other psychological emotion which we can control …there are ways to control love also.
So here’s the secret:
Each of us has a checklist in our mind of what our ideal partner should be like. This list is embedded in our subconscious minds and it determines the type of person who we will (and won’t) fall in love with.
Psychologists call this checklist a persons “Lovemap”. Guys have one. Girls have one. We all have one and our minds start forming it from a very early age.
A persons Lovemap is subconsciously constructed as a result of our environment around us growing up. Everything (and I mean everything) from our:
- Backgrounds
- Values
- Past experiences
- Opinions
- Interests etc.
…all have an impact on the way our Lovemap is shaped, similar to the way all these things shape your personality and who you are as a person.
Since each of us was brought up differently, our Lovemaps are not the same. Just as each of us is unique, so is our Lovemap unique.
Then, when we meet someone in our lives, our subconscious will quietly make an analysis of this person (even though we aren’t consciously aware of it) to see if they are a good match for Lovemap.
How to Use This to Make a Guy Fall for You
Now, before I go any further. I need to make a point…
The idea of using psychology to “make” a guy fall in love with you may make some women feel uncomfortable. It goes against the beliefs of “fate or “destiny”. But these beliefs are wrong. They are just myths manufactured by love songs, Hollywood movies and romance novels etc. …none of which are a healthy basis for thinking about any relationship you get into.
With those myths out of the way, here are some ways to help make a guy fall for you. Or, if you are already in a relationship with a guy …how to keep him in love with you and build a healthy relationship.
1.) Meet his criteria
Examples of criteria that a guy might have on his Lovemap include,
- She must not drink too much alcohol
- She must have a stable job
- She must be decent-looking
If you want to capture a guys heart, get to know the guy you like. Learn about his background, beliefs and other aspects of his life. This will give you the components that make up his Lovemap.
Taking the first example above about alcohol, if he was brought up in a house where his mother drank a lot and this caused fights in the house, then an important criteria on his Lovemap will be “She must not drink too much alcohol”.
If you break this criteria by bragging on Facebook about how many nights you were out last week drinking …you will be blocking his subconscious from being able to fall in love with you. You then need to begin work on aligning yourself to his Lovemap components.
2.) Be the opposite of his own personal weakness
What people tend to do is go for someone who matches their strengths (intelligence etc.) …but who is different from their weaknesses (shyness etc.). When analysing the guy you like, make sure you understand this key point. When you know a guys weakness – become the OPPOSITE of it.
3.) Associate yourself with something positive
What do you think is the first thing that comes into people’s minds when they hear your name? Do they think of something positive like “confident”, “motivated” or “strong”? Or do they associate you with something negative like “loser” or “bum”?
If the answer is a positive word, then you have moved another step closer to making the guy you like fall in love with you. If not, then you MUST fix that.
For example, if people deem you as “weak” …then work will need to be done to remove this negative way you are associated in peoples minds (most notably the mind of the guy you are trying to make fall in love with you).
In this example, you could hit the gym or take up kickboxing as a hobby. This will help remove this negative association from you …and instead replace it with a positive one.
Yes, all this WILL require work on your part. And you will need to change certain things about you in order to make yourself more congruent to the guys Lovemap. But healthy relationships involve compromise like this. An unhealthy relationship is one where people refuse to compromise or make any changes in order to accommodate their partner.
