It is quite ironical that the very nature of every human being is based on true love but we go through life struggling to find it.
The problem is that our culture has conditioned us to be mind centric. We have learnt to manipulate every facet of our life because we feel insecure within. The truth is we have lost touch with our source which is deeply based on true love.
In spite of the mental conditioning it is still possible to find true love in a relationship, basically because it is inherent in every heart and is just waiting for an opportunity to reveal itself. In this article we will talk about what is true love and how to know if you have found true love in your relationship.
What is true love?
The meaning of true love cannot be encapsulated in a definition. It’s an intuitive feeling that arises in your heart.
You can imagine your heart to be a compass that has a magnetic needle that’s always in search of true love. Once you find it, you will know it intuitively.
Remember that you cannot go about finding true love in any relationship. It just happens naturally over course of time – it’s just grace. There are times when the most unlikely person becomes the source of true love. The most obvious sign of true love is that there is something very pure and innocent, and almost selfless, about it.
Some relationships blossom into true love with time. You cannot work at it, it just happens. At times certain adversities might lead to a relationship becoming really close and you find the blossoming of an unconditional love in the midst. It is quite rare to have true love unless there is a deep emotional connect.
How do you know if you have found true love?
In most cases it just comes as a sudden realization that you are in a relationship that is based on true love. It’s usually when you realize there is an unconditional or selfless component to your relation. You know intuitively that this love is true and will last till the end no matter what happens.
It’s not a mind thing. You can find a hundred ways of convincing yourself that you have found true love, but that’s not what’s talked about here. The actually realization happens completely at the heart level or rather the intuition level.
When you know you have found true love there will be no doubt about it and you will not have to find reasons to convince yourself.
Though it’s difficult to generalize and add labels to this feeling, there are certain characteristics of true love that distinguish it from a surface level love. Let’s have a look at them.
5 Most important signs of true love
Watch out for these signs in your relationship as they would indicate the presence or blossoming of true love.
1. The element of innocence
You cannot have true love and calculation going hand in hand. In true love there is never the need for reciprocation. This love exists without any cause.
It almost seems impersonal because there is not clinging quality to it.
2. There is no neediness
Most relationships start off with the need for fulfillment. There is a lot of neediness involved which translates into possessiveness, jealousy and a sense of ownership.
True love usually blossoms when you are done will all of this and surrender to the feeling of love itself – you love without any conditions. People who have known true love know what this means.
3. There is a sense of freedom in the relationship
In the common relationship there is always an element of bondage. There are some people who even feel suffocated inside a relationship after sometime and so they decide to separate. This is because relationship on its own is always trying to grab hold of something.
In true love there is no grabbing, it’s just about giving space, freedom, happiness and trust very unconditionally.
4. True love is not manipulative
You will not come across the “tit for tat” mentality inside a relationship involving true love. If someone truly loves you they will not expect anything in return and hence will not manipulate your life.
Relationship without manipulation is a definite sign of true love.
5. True love is beyond the physical
True love happens on a much deeper level. It’s beyond the physical. It’s even beyond thoughts and emotions. It’s a deeper intelligence at play, something that cannot be named or defined. It can only be experienced.
6. You share a deep trust
When there is true love, trust comes naturally. You share a deep level of trust with each other. Your mind is free from fears and doubts about your partner. And this feeling of trust is not forced, it happens naturally.
This is also the reason why there is no neediness in the relationship and instead there is an openness as we saw earlier in points 2 and 3.
7. There is acceptance & understanding
When you deeply love someone, you understand your partner and hence you accept them completely for who they are. You have no desire to change them.
It’s because of this acceptance, that two people in love do not have to hide anything or pretend to be someone they are not. Instead they can be their true authentic self when with their partner.
You literally feel like two bodies with one soul.
8. There is mutual respect
In true love, each partner values and respects the other completely. You can never dream of hurting your partner or making them feel bad.
You do not make the other person for granted and know their value in your life.
9. True love is uplifting
When the love is true, simply being near your partner uplifts you. When together you raise each other’s vibrations ’cause your energies are very similar. And when two similar energies are together, they make each other stronger.
Going by these characteristics of true love it almost seems unachievable, but it does exist, sometimes it arises suddenly in a relationship that has no hope at all.
True love can easily be called grace because there is nothing you do to get it or feel it. It just happens naturally.
So to answer – How do I know if I found true love? – You will know by the grace you feel in your heart.
How to find true love? – 3 Points to bear in mind
This is an age-old question, and both sides of the sexes ask it.
The most fundamental and simple of the answers is this: You have already found it!
The greatest romance you have the potential to experience is with yourself. This is not just a new-age concept; poets, mystics and prophets from the millennia, centuries and decades past have expressed this.
1. Realize love within yourself
One of the only ways you can find true love in another is if you realize it within yourself. Do you know what true love feels like? Do you feel true love for yourself?
Find it within yourself, cultivate it, grow it, and then eventually you will come to know it as if it has been with you before you were even conceived.
Metaphysically speaking, you have to know and experience the vibration of what you are seeking (in this case your idea of love with a partner or within a relationship). Are you able to fully be in a relationship with your love?
2. Accept the ground realities of being in a relationship
Relationships are not all butterflies and rainbows.
The feelings of pain are always able to rise up and infiltrate your love experience. There is one fundamental difference; when you are experiencing love the way you understand, see and react to painful experiences (how much you suffer is up to you to decide) and feelings changes.
It receives an upgrade, so to speak. You see beyond the emotional outbursts, communication is clarified and your relationship is intensified.
So, you want to find a relationship, a true love, a divine partnership? Are you ready?
Your love doesn’t tell you that everything is bright and sunny when in fact you both feel the storm overhead. Are you ready to stop telling yourself that “it’s okay” when in fact its not?
Your love will tell you that you smell and need to take a shower. Are you ready to let go of the “perfect” image of yourself and learn to embrace that, just as when you move your hand in the sunlight, the shadow on the ground is so inextricably linked with you that it mirrors your movements?
You are the messy, chaotic, emotional bundle of confusion, your shadow side (the side of us that no-one is allowed access to except for ourselves), just as much as the light and breezy, wondrous you that you wish to display to the world. Your true love has all access. Are you ready for your partner to see you, all of you?
Your partner will really annoy you. All the little intrinsic characteristics, quirks and traits of your partner will disarm you and anoint you in the initial phases of the relationship. They will then begin to have the potential to inflame you with an irritation so strong you could swear the heavens are playing a sick joke on you.
The beauty of it is, these trigger points may just become the catalysts to that perfect state of love you are so desperately seeking. All your baggage, fears and issues with yourself and the world will come to the surface. Being in true love, you can so simply let it all go. The clarity of communication is beyond description; your childish mommy and daddy issues are transformed into a powerhouse of love and acceptance, setting the optimum circumstances for the relationship with your partner.
3. Throw Away Your Lists
One ultimate tip is to throw away your lists. You know, the one where you lay down the rules for what you want and what you don’t want? Throw it out.
Although it is helpful to know exactly what you want and what you don’t want, if you are using it as a dogmatic structure then you won’t recognize love even when it arrives on your doorstep.
It is a good idea to write down the qualities in a partner that you are looking for. But then don’t just leave it at that, pick up the pen again, and write down how you can develop those qualities within yourself, first.
So follow these three simple steps and you are sure to attract true love into your life.